I need a new drug

Ahh - This running thing.

I thought I could just run a marathon, take a week or 2 off and be back to my old self again.  Running with a new sense of accomplishment and perhaps a spark in my step! 

This however has not been the case.  The times I have run, I feel pain in my knee.  Not right away --  Its about 3 miles in and I start to feel something not quite right on the outside of my right knee and I also feel it in the back of my knee as well.  I bought new sneakers thinking, well I surely wore out my other ones, this has to be the answer to my problem...

Wrong Answer!

Each time I run, around mile 3, a painful reminder is present and tells me that I can't go further. 

I really never thought this would happen.  Was this naive of me to think I could keep running injury free post marathon?  I tried not to think about the knee and it was a little easier during the holidays but now that it is January, it is hard not to think that I could have really messed up my body by running the marathon.  What scares me even more is if I won't be able to run anymore. Am I overreacting?

Possibly...

I have always exercised but running is what did it for me.  Running is the first activity (besides organized sports) that I have been able to commit to long term.  I did join a gym but so far have not been into the ellipting or biking.  I miss Running - leaving my house with only my ipod and not a care in the world.  I always came back home with a clear head and new perspective.  And lately although I have been running a bit, I end up feeling more stressed after because I am scared I am hurting myself more. 

Am I addicted and running is my drug?

 So what to do now--- Well I am not just going to keep running and hurt myself more.  That would not be very smart.  I made an appointment with my doc and hopefully he will point me in the right direction of what to do next.  I am thinking winter is a good time to figure out what is going on and hopefully resolve or deal with whatever the issue is.  But in the mean time, I still need that "healthy" outlet to clear my mind and keep me in shape.  I definitely have been in shape lately and I do not want that to fall to the wayside because of my negativity.  The good news is that 2 of my friends go to the gym I joined and I hope that it will be a way to see them more and also give each other the motivation we need to keep the workouts consistent.  I might try spinning class, which is pretty high energy, and I think I would be good at it.  And I will continue to do yoga as well. 

Well here it goes---

Dear Running,

You have given me many amazing gifts in 2010.  You made me see things differently in my life and showed me strength that I didn't know I had.   I want to keep this relationship going but in order for me to do that I need to take a break and figure out some things.  So,  I may not see you for a bit, but I just wanted to let you know that you will be missed.  But don't worry, I hope to be back soon and will keep going strong the best I can.

                                             Sharon