I need a new drug

Ahh - This running thing.

I thought I could just run a marathon, take a week or 2 off and be back to my old self again.  Running with a new sense of accomplishment and perhaps a spark in my step! 

This however has not been the case.  The times I have run, I feel pain in my knee.  Not right away --  Its about 3 miles in and I start to feel something not quite right on the outside of my right knee and I also feel it in the back of my knee as well.  I bought new sneakers thinking, well I surely wore out my other ones, this has to be the answer to my problem...

Wrong Answer!

Each time I run, around mile 3, a painful reminder is present and tells me that I can't go further. 

I really never thought this would happen.  Was this naive of me to think I could keep running injury free post marathon?  I tried not to think about the knee and it was a little easier during the holidays but now that it is January, it is hard not to think that I could have really messed up my body by running the marathon.  What scares me even more is if I won't be able to run anymore. Am I overreacting?

Possibly...

I have always exercised but running is what did it for me.  Running is the first activity (besides organized sports) that I have been able to commit to long term.  I did join a gym but so far have not been into the ellipting or biking.  I miss Running - leaving my house with only my ipod and not a care in the world.  I always came back home with a clear head and new perspective.  And lately although I have been running a bit, I end up feeling more stressed after because I am scared I am hurting myself more. 

Am I addicted and running is my drug?

 So what to do now--- Well I am not just going to keep running and hurt myself more.  That would not be very smart.  I made an appointment with my doc and hopefully he will point me in the right direction of what to do next.  I am thinking winter is a good time to figure out what is going on and hopefully resolve or deal with whatever the issue is.  But in the mean time, I still need that "healthy" outlet to clear my mind and keep me in shape.  I definitely have been in shape lately and I do not want that to fall to the wayside because of my negativity.  The good news is that 2 of my friends go to the gym I joined and I hope that it will be a way to see them more and also give each other the motivation we need to keep the workouts consistent.  I might try spinning class, which is pretty high energy, and I think I would be good at it.  And I will continue to do yoga as well. 

Well here it goes---

Dear Running,

You have given me many amazing gifts in 2010.  You made me see things differently in my life and showed me strength that I didn't know I had.   I want to keep this relationship going but in order for me to do that I need to take a break and figure out some things.  So,  I may not see you for a bit, but I just wanted to let you know that you will be missed.  But don't worry, I hope to be back soon and will keep going strong the best I can.

                                             Sharon

Hanging around

Since the marathon, I have been resting, recovering and taking a break from the intense exercise regime that was my training.  I have still been running but have lessened my mileage significantly.

For about 4 months, my mind was set on one goal.  Running and finishing my first marathon.  Now that this goal has been accomplished, I feel a loss.   So much open space where there was once structure and I am not handling it well.  It's like I don't know what to do with myself.  The times I have been running lately, I have felt some knee pain so I am backing off a bit.  I think I may need new sneakers ( I really hope that is the issue).   So that is another reason for the break or "hiatus".  But what do I do in the meantime?

Its funny~ when I was training, I always wished for more time! I felt so busy! And now that I have it, I am not sure what to do.  I catch myself eating or going out more often, which has been fun but without regular exercise, these activities only make me feel guilty.  I think - I shouldn't have eaten that piece of pizza or had the ice cream.  When I was training I ate anything I wanted, still was losing weight and never felt guilt! It was great!  Now that training is over, I am trying to watch what I eat but hey its the holidays so rich and indulgent foods are everywhere.  

I know what I need, I need a new goal - a new project, a new something.  I feel sort of stagnant, like an ornament on my tree, I am just hanging around...My hope is that I can find motivation because I don't want to end up in the old dusty box along with my other ornaments only to make an appearance once a year.

When I decided to run a marathon, the idea just came to me and I literally ran with it.  I am hoping something else exciting and attractive comes along again soon. I have thought about a triathlon or maybe more trail running but so far, it hasn't made me feel that electric energy I felt when I decided to take on the 26.2 challenge.

I have been doing some research on running websites and it sounds like the feelings I am experiencing aren't too far from the norm, I just hope to get out of this funk soon.

That being said, It's Christmas and I am going to be surrounded by family and friends for the next two days.  I feel truly blessed.

Going with the flow and enjoying the season (and the cookies too)!

Happy Holidays

Finally!

The hardest run of my life was worth every minute of pain that I felt because the glory at the end was that sweet. 

26.2 miles is no joke. It’s amazing to me how many people can run it successfully, and fast! Way faster than I did! But for me, the marathon was not about speed.  It was about achieving my goal, no matter how long it took.  And it took a long time.  5 hours and 4 minutes to be exact.  There was a bathroom break in there but still it was about 5 hours of running!  There were times when it was easy, and times of pure agony.  There were times when I thought I could run forever and times where I could hardly take another step.  However, one feeling that was not present at all throughout the run was defeat or the idea of quitting.  I knew no matter what, running, walking, or even crawling, I was going to cross that finish line. I ended up doing it by running (my preferred method) and it was an amazing feeling.  I ran the entire race with my friend Marion, who I met from Team Philly.  During training, we ran together on many long runs and it only made sense to run together during the actual race.  On race day, she kept me thinking positive and vice versa. We were a good team and at the end, we held our hands high while crossing the finish, together. It was an unforgettable moment for us! Emotional too. I am both happy and proud to have shared my first marathon experience with her. 

At about 20 miles in Manyunk! I was feelin the pain

!

The Pain: There was pain. For me it was foot and ankle pain and lots of it.  -Especially the last six miles, my feet were very sore. But I didn’t stop. I think the experience of being in that kind of pain and pushing through will be key in the future when I encounter something challenging in my life.  I will also say that the pain I felt hours later when trying to walk up stairs was actually much worse than pain during the race! (One day after I felt much better though.)

 The Stomach: Well I have heard stories about people who unfortunately don’t make it to the bathroom before something really gross and embarrassing happens and I am happy to say this did not happen to me.  I had some stomach pains during my run but I think it was more from nerves than anything else.  I am glad to walk away from this marathon having not experienced anything like the above!

The People:

THANK GOODNESS FOR THE PEOPLE!  I never realized how important cheering could be!  Not only was it a distraction from the pain or thinking about how much further there was in the race but it was truly motivating also.  All the runners had their name on their bib # and this was great because people can then cheer for you by name. Every time I heard “GO Sharon” it made me smile and reminded me that I was going to finish. The times when there were no crowds were probably the toughest parts of the race because it was quiet, and there was only time to think about the distance that was still ahead. 

~So thank you to all that came out and cheered- your words got people across that finish line!  Special thanks to my husband, family, and my friends that came to the race!  It meant so much to me to see your faces during the run. (And after when we celebrated!) 

The texting/emails:

Thank you to all of my friends and family who texted or ‘Facebooked’ supporting words! I never realized how meaningful it could be to be remembered and encouraged. I thought about all of you during the race and could feel the good luck vibes with each completed mile.

The Family:

A special thanks to my Mom, Don, and sister Lisa for coming and cheering me on! Knowing I would see you at the end kept me going. I am very thankful to have you all in my life. Love you guys!

The Blog:

When I started the blog, part of me thought it was silly because like I said in the beginning, many people run marathons and do it much faster than I did.  So what makes me so special?  But I am so glad I decided to write.  It really did help keep me accountable for my daily and weekly runs, as well as have an outlet for nervous thoughts about the marathon.  By putting myself out there, I got so much in return and realized I had support in many different places.

Many friends from work seemed to read and were very encouraging.  A simple, “how’s your training going?” meant the world to me!  I am very lucky to work with such supportive people!

I also found out people that I didn’t even know were reading, took an interest in the blog. ~Thank you to my friend Dana who sent me a very uplifting card. I was unaware that she was keeping up with my blog so the card was a wonderful surprise! It was very thoughtful and meant a lot to me.

The Husband: Not only has this been a long road for me but it’s been a lot for my husband too.  He has been my #1 supporter from the start and I am not sure what I would have done without his help! Words cannot express how thankful I am and how lucky I feel to have him in my life.  He is a special person and he deserves a medal for putting up with me some days! He is a man of few words but I know he is super proud of me.  And If I run another one, he will be right there ready to support me again (Don’t worry hon, if I do another one, it won’t be for a while!) I also think he is happy the marathon is over. J

The Team:

Not sure if anyone from Team Philly will ever read this and that is ok. I just wanted to write in here that being part of a running group was key in training and completing my first marathon.  Joining the group was one of the smartest decisions I made during the training process.  If anyone is thinking about trying a marathon for the first time, you should definitely check them out! (They are on Facebook)

Thanks Team Philly!

About to cross the finish!

The Newest Marathon Runner!

I grew up being pretty competitive with myself and with others.  As an adult, I still saw this quality in me and it scared me a bit.  And then I found running.  I used to despise running but maybe that is because I never really understood it.  I always thought running was just something you did to get in shape for the real sport you were going to play.  Then one day about 3 years or so ago, I started to not feel so good about myself physically and figured I better start doing something to keep in shape… So I started to run. I started with .5 miles around my block and I was huffing and puffing after that run.  Of course, it was December so it was cold too! I was frustrated and a little annoyed that I couldn’t go further but I kept at it. Each day I tried to do a little more and before I knew it, I had run a mile. And then 2, and so on.  I noticed something else too, I always felt good after a run. I felt relaxed and almost euphoric.  Who wouldn’t like that?

As my confidence and distance increased, I decided I could run a race, so I signed up for the Out and Back run, a 4 mile run, in Philly.  It was my first race and I did great. I have to admit when people passed me, I got a little annoyed and I felt that competitive side come out, but that was ok because it kept me going. But I wasn’t trying to win the race; I was just trying to be the best runner I could be. I realized that winning in running is much different than any other sport I have experienced. After the 4 miler, I entered more races, set goals for myself – sometimes achieving them and sometimes not, but always in the end I could say, I went out and tried my best, therefore, I win.

During my training there definitely were days when the last thing I wanted to do was run, but afterwards, I always felt better. Whatever worries I felt pre-run, had vanished. Every time I checked off a day of running or mileage completion, a sense of pride flowed through me.  The weekend of the marathon I sure was nervous but not once did I think I wouldn’t finish or that I couldn’t complete this challenge.  I trained and was prepared. I was ready!!

Now that the race has been completed, I feel the pride flowing through me again. I am sore and I am tired but I am smiling all over. It took a long time to get here but I am very happy to say that I did it and it was worth all the time and effort. 

I ran 26.2 miles!

~Thanks for sticking with me, from start to finish~

It's only a matter of time

Today is exactly one week until the marathon.

     I have been training for over 16 weeks. When I started this journey, the weather was unkind, I was running alone with only my ipod to keep me company and really didn't have a clue what I would be in for.   All I thought was, I can do this, this will be a new challenge and what better time than now!


So I ran,
a lot.    

I joined a group and met others tackling the Philly Marathon and entered a new mile zone almost every weekend.  I faced fears of runs in the high teens and also the dreaded 20 miler! I ran during the week, in the rain, and in cold.  I bought a hydration belt, body glide, and ate clif shots and gels for that energy boost I needed! I met up with friends to run (thank you - you know who you are!). 

Having people to run with made some of the monotony during the weeks dissipate and it also gave me a chance to catch up with old friends and perhaps make new friendships as well.  The ipod was used less and instead I started noticing all of gorgeous sights around me - from corn fields, farms with sheep talking to us, and grassy green hills to the streets and sounds of Philadelphia, I took it all in.  I watched as the seasons changed and the fall colors emerge into amazing golden browns and ruby reds.  I remembered to breathe and enjoyed the moments.  I reminded myself often of how lucky I am to be able to run and be outside amongst the beauty and to witness nature changing as I was changing as well. 

On the outside my muscles got stronger and my body became lean.  My clothes appeared a bit looser and I enjoyed it.  On the inside I began to feel more confident, realized my strong will and my dedication to my commitment.  Even though there were definite times of struggle, frustration, and extreme tiredness,  I always remembered my goal and reminded myself that pain and suffering are going to make success feel that much sweeter.

At this point, I don't know that there is much more to say.  I have had many entries that talked about the amazing runs and the difficult ones.  I also shared about my fears, the challenges, the hills, the heat, the soreness, and the gratitude.  I thank all of you who have read, encouraged, ran with me, talked with me, and asked how training was going.  It all helped me stick with it! 

On race day, I am going to be nervous, the jitters are going to be insane, but I know I am ready for the 26.2.   Once I get to the start, the worries ( I hope) will fly away with the first step I take.  I can't wait to experience it,  from start to finish!


 ***

When I was in Rehoboth on vacation back in August, I went for a walk on the beach and took my music with me.  I remember it was after my 10 mile training run which ended up being very difficult for me.   It was hot, I struggled with each step and my mind tended to stay in the negative zone...

As I walked along the Delaware beach, I looked out into the ocean and at the crashing waves as Jason Mraz's - Song for a Friend came on.   As he sang, it was that moment that I knew this challenge was only as tough as I would make it out to be.  Only I had to power to over come my negative mind, keep up with the training, stay strong and push.  

And that's exactly what I did!!

Climb up over the top.
Survey the state of the soul.
You've got to find out for yourself whether or not you're truly trying.
Why not give it a shot?
Shake it. Take control and inevitably wind up
Find out for yourself all the strengths you have inside of you. 

(oddly enough -this song was introduced to me by a friend- Thanks Col! )
 

 

Feelin the burn~

Yesterday I got up to go the distance.  I got up and  reminded myself that I would again be attempting a new challenge -  a 20 mile run.  The longest run in the training overall and very intimidating. I kept reminding myself that I just ran 18 a couple weeks ago so this is only 2 more.  That sounds doable, right?

Right.

So I got up, went to meet Team Philly and off we went - running, talking, breathing, and enjoying the scenery of Wissahickon Park.  It was a cool fall day and another perfect one for running. Sounds nice and relaxing, doesn't it?

I guess now a day later, what is in the forefront of my mind is the positives and that is a good thing.  If I thought back and all I could say was that it was a horrible experience I think I would be deeply disappointed so I am happy that is not the case here.  I remember the sunshine and the crackling of the leaves as we ran.  I remember the fall colors, the friendly people, other runners making new goals for themselves as well as my will to push myself. 

But it was also extremely difficult.  There was pain and even some agony.  Towards the end, my calves were starting to burn and my mind was going to strange places.  Not hallucinations exactly but I think at one point I could have sworn I saw a monkey in a tree.  Are there monkeys in Philly?
At times we compared our pain- "my calves hurt, oh good because mine do too.  My knee feels weird. My ankles are sore.  My tail bone is stiff"~  Since this is our first time running this far, we were unsure if these feelings were normal reactions from our body dealing with this incredibly long distance or was it something else.  We may never know!


Once into the last mile, I felt my body wanting to pick up the pace a bit.  I definitely found some unused adrenaline and that made it a little exciting.   In the end, we finished strong as we always do and even though our high fives may have looked weak, we were very excited to complete a 20 mile run.  After I stopped running, the pain in my calves intensified.  I walked a bit and then waited in line for a massage.  It was difficult to stand in one spot because my legs were hurting so bad.  But the pain and the burn slowly dissipated and the massage, although not the relaxing kind you get at a spa, helped immensely.  They stretched me and rubbed deep into my legs, which hurt a bit, but when I got off the table the pain was gone, Thank you Phila Massage, Thank you!


I hope that when I run the Philadelphia Marathon, the adrenaline is there, because in reality there are still 6 more miles to go after the 20 so while I am extremely happy and satisfied with my performance, I am nervous about the actual race and the 'unknown zone'.  At this point, all I can bank on is that I have worked extremely hard to get to where I am and am happy to say that I have been able to keep up with my commitment to myself and to the training schedule. 

These next 3 weeks, the runs will taper.  I can tell my body needs a break and she deserves one too.  So although I will still be running, there won't be any more runs more than 13 until marathon day.

Flowers Brian bought me while I was running 20 miles. Thanks babe!

 

 

 

 

It will be here soon and I have to say I am finally starting to get very excited!

Humbled by the distance

Just a 14 mile run this week.  Sounds like nothing after 18...
Um~quite the opposite.
It was hard!
And I was tired!
I wanted it to be over!

Ran through the city and enjoyed the lights- start, stop...start, stop.   Then a monster hill near the Please Touch Museum.  (Yes this hill will be present during the race so it is good to practice it, but still, it was tough. )It's one of those twisty hills so right when you think you are at the top, there is a turn and it's steeper still.  The positive-once at the top there is a beautiful view of the Avenue of the Republic.  Very cool.

Not sure where I am going with all this except that I have had many great runs during my training, and today was not one of them.  I finished and in the end that is the goal but today I felt a little broken down and also humbled by the distance.  I learned to not to underestimate the mileage, even if I have conquered it once, it is still going to be a challenge the next time.  Need to be ready at all times!!

This is going to be a fun week.  I am going to see Underworld in New York City on Wednesday with my husband and our friend Dan. We are staying over and hanging in NYC the next day. I took a personal day and am ready for a tiny little break from my job.  I hope to run in central park if there is time and I hope to relax and enjoy the moments.

Then on the 30th, its the big one ~ 20 miles!   It will be the longest distance that I have attempted and once this run is complete it will also symbolize the beginning of tapering our runs.  November is almost here and the marathon is right around the corner!!

Movin ahead so life won't pass me by

18 MILES!!

When I first received my training schedule back in August... The words 'October 16th - 18 miles', was one of the first things I saw.  Ever since then, I was dreading this day.  Back in August, I had no idea what to expect, no idea what my body would feel like and no idea if I could actually conquer this distance... So yesterday when I woke up, let's just say I was a bit jittery and antsy to get this run over with...

On my way to Philly, I cross the Ben Franklin Bridge. What did I see as I crossed - A huge Phillies sign that says - "Fightin' to the Finish" and I thought, that's what I will be doing today!!  It seemed a bit ironic but it was early and even though I knew the sign wasn't for me, I made pretend it was!

~Yesterday it was windy but sunny, brisk but not too chilly.  It was a gorgeous day to run.  And a perfect day to complete a new goal.   As we started running, the nerves began to subside and as we got into our groove, I think the new mile challenge started to seem doable.  The course we ran was through Wissahickon Creek and it was the perfect fall day for it.  With each step, I could hear the crackle of the leaves and it was an exciting way to experience autumn. 

I ended up running with Marion, a friend I have met through team Philly.  We are both training for our first marathon, have a similar pace and get along well.  I have enjoyed being her running partner and I hope the feeling is mutual.  During our 3 hour run,  we talked a lot.  I mean what else is there to do when you are running for such a long time!  As we ran, there was some soreness and tired muscles,  loss of energy and some motivation as well as some shared agony to know where that 9 mile turn around was!!  But that's the exciting part about running a distance like this is... there are SO many feelings that are going on at the same time, some great and some horrible.  Even in pain and fatigue, there was still laughter, conversation and positivity.  And when we were done, those are the things I took with me.  The things that kept me going, not the things that were attempting to hold me back.  18 miles was a success. 

On the drive home back to Jersey, I felt a little emotional.  As I crossed back over the Ben Franklin and listened to Jim Croce's, I Got a Name, I couldn't help feeling a sense of pride and accomplishment.  Maybe it was the dehydration or the tiredness, but either way,  the satisfaction almost brought tears to my eyes...I was able to head into yet another new mile zone... Another long run down ~ 5 weeks to go!!

Like the pine trees lining the winding road
I've got a name, I've got a name
Like the singin' bird and the croakin' toad
I've got a name, I've got a name
And I carry it with me like my daddy did
But I'm livin' the dream that he kept hid

Movin' me down the highway, rollin' me down the highway
Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by